As Day 2 of our conference progressed into the afternoon ... caffeine was needed ... again! Due to a youth conference meeting nearby, the Starbucks downstairs stayed FULL! We visited and left on a few different breaks, but did decide to wait it out at last.
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| Today we decided to wait in the crazy Starbucks Line |
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| Long Lines make us Silly! |
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| My and Vance's Angels! |
Session 5, "What every marriage needs" focused on the gospel of Christ's work and how it impacts our marriages.
We can pursue oneness with our spouse because of our oneness with God. Highlights below:
- John 14:6 - "Jesus said to him, "I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."" - Note the articles here ... "the" not "a". Jesus is not one of many ways to salvation and fulfillment in life. He is THE way.
- God has the power to make all things new. Even your at times broken marriage! YES AND AMEN!!! "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come." - 2 Corinthians 5:17
- Do we want God FOR God? Do we approach God with a "What's in it for me" attitude? This question reminds me of Natalie Grant's newish song, "More Than Anything."
- Are we seeking God as a savior only? We can't really have that. He should also be our Lord and Leader.
- The Holy Spirit gives us power to grow in our relationship with God and each other.
- Power to understand the Bible - "...he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you" - John 14:26
- Shows us sin in our lives
- Helps us to Love others unconditionally
- Helps us forgive others
Forgiveness is the Oil that keeps the engine of our marriage running smoothly.
After another needed break, we settled back in for the second to last session of the day:
"We fight too"
The goal of marriage is not to be conflict free, but to handle conflict correctly when it occurs.
"What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel" - James 4:1-2
We're selfish - thus we fight. - James 4:1-2 Wifey Version :)
The WTR leaders suggested that in marriage, you should have big fights over big things, and small fights over small things. Do not allow big fights over small things.
- If you win every argument in your marriage, you're married to a loser.
- Your words are your instruments. You can use them to craft or crash the image of God.
Since we know conflict will be part of marriage, how do we resolve it, ensuring that it doesn't destroy our oneness?
- Recognize it is coming from our own selfishness
- Lovingly confront where needed - Not every offense requires confrontation.
- Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense - Proverbs 19:11 - #Ministryofhush
- Ask for forgiveness. Grant Forgiveness.
- Forgiveness is a choice to let your spouse free from the debt of their offense. It is the first step toward rebuilding trust, and is an act of obedience to God.
- Seeking forgiveness includes admitting to God and yourself that you were wrong. It is done in humility.
- Trust - is built through consistent behavior over time.
- Conflict is minimized in marriage when we actively choose to bless our spouses
- According to Gottman, great marriages have a 5:1 positive:negative comment ratio.
- We choose to bless even when our spouses don't deserve it. This follows the example of Jesus. "And while being reviled, He [Jesus] did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously" - I Peter 2:23
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Interested in another perspective on WTR? Check out our friend Vance's blog covering the same topic. There you'll find far fewer pictures of food and far more theology!
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Read the rest of our series on WTR at the following links:
